On day 46 I was driving away from T’s in the morning having spent the night. I decided to call her to give her some reassurance that despite me “sitting on the fence” I felt things were going really well and the trust was building rapidly. By the time I had reached my office an hour later T had got to the point where she was going to let me go because she felt guilty that she was in the way of my wife and I reconciling.
I didn’t fight back much and was somewhat relieved that she had come to that decision because as much as I loved her she was damaging me. I saw this as a good way out.
During that day however, I became very anxious about the thought of not being with her and I decided to look at my unhappiness before deciding it was the small flat I lived in. To that end, I looked for another place despite the fact I was less than a month into a 6 month minimum lease and signed up for a house with a garden.
That evening, I was excited to tell T my news that I was no longer “on the fence” and I was ready to fully commit to her. She didn’t even acknowledge my news and continued with how hard it was to be breaking up like this. I didn’t want to make a scene and show weakness by pleading for her to reconsider. I thought she would realise later what I had done and things would be fine.
We kept contact and on day 38 she messaged me in the evening to say she was out with her friend in the same pub all three of us had a night out four weeks earlier. As I stated previously, T was very flirty with guys that night but would come back to me giving me tactile reassurance. The thought of her being out with her friend and flirting like she did really bothered me and I was very jealous and lonely although, I didn’t react.
I was in a mood the following day when we messaged. It felt that we were on a temporary break rather than being split up and my messages were suggestive as to the fact that she would have met someone on that night out and I hoped it made her happy. She denied of course meeting anyone saying all the while she missed me. I thought reconciliation was inevitable.
Day 39 was the worst of the relationship.
The great weekend we had was a bank holiday in May, there are two in the UK and the other was four weeks later. We had previously spoken about another night out on the Sunday evening as there was no work the next day and T had mentioned that she had her son during the day for his birthday but he was heading home that night to his Dad. The story changed on the day that her son wasn’t seeing his Dad at all on his birthday. This rang alarm bells.
More messages that day saying how much she missed me but in the evening they dried up. This had never been the case previously we would always return messages almost as soon as they were received. That evening there were messages two hours apart but when they came they were what I wanted to hear. She couldn’t stop thinking about me, she was so in love with me etc. I got one from her later to say she was really tired and that she was going to bed. Usually she would message from bed until one of us fell asleep.
I knew she wasn’t alone.
I could read T like a book. Her Pinnochio like fantasy could be spotted a mile off and wouldn’t be any more obvious supposing her nose grew like the puppet. I was sick and tired of being lied to and I wasn’t going to be fobbed off any more. At around 1am, I was still awake so I got dressed and jumped in my car. I had to see for myself that she had someone else there so I knew once and for all to get away from the madness. I drove the 45 minutes to T’s house convinced that I was going to see another car in her drive. Her house was off a lane so I left my car at the bottom of it and walked up. My heart was absolutely pounding and I felt sick.
Whenever I was at T’s she parked on the left of her drive and I parked on her cars right. When I reached her drive I found what I knew I would, a car parked in the space I always occupied. I felt empty.
I took a picture of the car so she couldn’t deny that it was there of course and I got back in mine. I didn’t once consider confronting her or causing I scene. I saw what I needed to and left. On the way home I called her phone in tears around 15 times but she didn’t pick up. I asked in the morning of we could speak and she said we could as she was driving across to see her daughter at her Dad’s. She clearly forgot about the story her son was in the house or we wouldn’t have been able to speak in the car.
I was quite calm when we spoke, she started to say what a lovely evening she had in cuddled up with her son. I told her I drove past hers from the main road and I could have sworn I saw a car on her drive. She said that her son had a friend over at night and that was his Dad’s. I asked if his Dad was over too, she said no. I asked then if he just sat in his car on her drive and waited. She got very flustered as her lies took over. I told her that it was 1.30am that the car was there because I took a picture, she went silent. She knew that the game was up and I could almost hear her searching for that one last lie to save the day, it didn’t come.
I very calmly asked her who the guy was, presumably it was someone she’d hooked up with on the night out and he’s come back for round 2.
No, she said. It was C.
In The Narc Dark 