I met my abuser, let’s call her “T”, at the beginning of April 2017. I was at a fairly low-point in a 20 year marriage and I had many thoughts of bringing it to an end as the communication had gone and we had basically just drifted apart.
I certainly hadn’t intended meeting someone but at a business event I saw someone looking over I didn’t know. I just assumed this lady wasn’t looking at me and was surprised to look back and see her smiling my way. A covert check around me ensured another guy wasn’t going to brush past my shoulder on his way to her and I smiled back.
I now look back on that smile being the start of an absolute roller coaster that ended in abject heart-break.
With smiles still in place we walked toward each other. At this point I was in a bit of a quandary as she had to have recognised me right? There was no other reason for her to be smiling so warmly and openly at a stranger?
When we reached each other she introduced herself and I did the same. She was simply stunning, if I had a type she was it, femininity oozing out of every pore. We spent the next 10 minutes or so chatting about business mainly and then she stated she had to leave, not before she told be how much she’d loved our chat and suggested we swap business cards. When she handed me hers there was a look that told me to get in contact.
The contact had made me feel fresh and in strange way desired. I compared it to my marriage and without hesitation, messaged that night.
T was really enthused I’d got in touch and suggested that we speak again on the phone. Clearly I couldn’t do that at home so I ended up going for a drive and we spent over an hour on the phone chatting about various different subjects, mostly politics interlaced with mutual flirting. In closing she asked when my last relationship was and looking back I’m ashamed to say I said that Id been separated a number of months. This was weak and against my moral compass and I paid in spades later on. The upshot of the call was a suggestion we meet up for lunch a few days later, I accepted without hesitation,
We made arrangements and agreed to pick her up from her home. Looking back I should have thought that this was quite strange but at the time it fitted with the comfort I perceived she felt with me. In the run up the long calls continued, one lasting over three hours where the topic of conversation threatened to become quite sexual but she always got quite shy saying she didn’t want to give me the wrong impression, however, she did tell me that on the last first date she’d had, they’d had sex.
When we met for lunch she looked stunning but was a bit aloof. We had a pleasant enough lunch and one of the topics of conversation was how chemistry could only be tested with a kiss. Once lunch was finished I still sensed the aloofness and assumed that there was no attraction on her part. It was almost a relief as I could feel myself getting into a situation I wasn’t in control of. I was a married man who’d convinced himself that it was over to meet his own ends. My behaviour was out of character and disrespectful.
Upon the return to T’s house the aloofness dissipated and I was asked in for coffee. This was a genuine surprise and I didn’t connect the request with anything more. Half an hour in, the coffee was gone and there was an awkward moment before I was if I was going to kiss her. Kiss her I did and a few hours later I left her house completely entrapped.